My testimonie

[studricho]

Just bare with me, it may be a long thread, but worth it to see what God has done in my life.

Before Christianity

I was brought up in a strong catholic background being born here to Portuguese parents. I always believed in God, but I saw him as a harsh old man with a stick ready to beat me when I step out of line.

The only time we went to church was for a hatch, match or dispatch. (birth, wedding or funeral) I was puzzled why we had to dress up and act our very best at church.

My Grandparents on my mums side lived in Portugal and I only saw them once. My dad's parents were here, but they were divorced which lead to grandma being a cranky old cow. Gran dad was a chronic drunk and didn't even know who we were.

So basically my Dad never had a real good role model and had no idea how to relate to us. He'd always pick on what you did which lead me to become a perfectionist my entire life just trying to gain his approval.

As a popular teen I did what any other insecure male teen did. I followed my peers.

This lead to me always trying to gain there approval with either drugs, cars and woman. I even got caught up in a small gang and was later arrested and charged with aggravated assault leading to grievous bodily harm. Even though it was first caught offense, I nearlly went to jail.

That was enough for me. I left that scene and took up smoking pot very heavily.

I also was hurt by a handful of woman and decided it was my mission to destroy as many young girls hearts as possible.

I stopped caring. I just wanted my own way. It was weird though, the meaner and crueler I become the more woman were attracted to me. Now and then I'd find someone I'd like, but they hurt me so the cycle begin again.

One of my best mates girl friend came up to me and told me about this girl that liked me. I told her that I wasn't interested. She then told that I could have any girl that I wanted. (we use to hang in a massive group)

It was then I started to realized that all that my mates told that I should go for were in vain. I had a hot car that was quick and held a certain rep amongst my peers and others. I had a good job, many friends and pretty much any girl that I wanted.

It was funny that heaps of people wanted to be me or like me, but I deep down hated myself.

I thought I had it all, but I still felt empty. Sex, drugs and fast cars were just a vain attempt to fill a gap.

My world came crashing down.

There were these 2 girls that we met at a campsite. My mate was with one and my brother the other. We asked my brother if he sleep with her and he said it was impossible as she was a virgin. I told him, i bet I could.

I began charming my ways into her life until she was smitten with me. I didn't care for her one bit, even though she was good looking. She was a very clingy person and would stalk me to no end.

After work, she was there. When I came home she was there. At my favorite hang out spot, she was there talking to all my mates.

We were never a couple, but she was happy to tag along with me to different parties, watch me pick up other women and would be okay for me to be with her at the end of the night.

Finally she trusted me enough for me to be her first. I didn't care at all. I couldn't wait until I told my mates. In fact after having sex we went back to my hang out were I had to leave to be with another girl soon after.

I had enough of her and told her to go. I think I slept with her 3 times.

I'm pregnant.

These words are supposed to bring joiy into your life, but all I could think about was the fact that I was in the top of my game and this would affect my game play. Who would want to be with me when I've knocked someone up?

Yep, the annoying girl that I told to go away had fallen pregnant.

I was 21 years old...

My reaction

I did what I knew best. I told her to get rid of it and to never come down here again. She lived about 2 hours away. I also hit the pot very hard almost every day of the week. To the point I would come home at lunch from work and get stoned.

God loves me

It was about this time that some friends from school become Christians and were spreading the word. One of mates from school was the dorkiest guy I knew back in school, but somehow he had changed since knowing Christ.

I sat there and heard the gospel and my mate challenge me to pray to God and ask him to show his love to me. I went home that and I prayed. I felt like pins and needles on the inside of my skin. I had an encounter with the living God.

Not one to believe straight away I asked God to show me many signs and which he did. I rang my mate a few weeks later and asked to go to church.

Th first time I walked into the church I knew what I'd be looking for was right here. Before I knew it I was down the front asking Jesus into my life.

Life after Christ

My life changed so much after that I couldn't begin to tell in what area. I called the pregnant girl as I felt a deep conviction about rejecting her so badly. She never wanted an abortion and I'm so glad that she didn't.

I told her upfront that I wanted to support her and our child, but I couldn't guarantee that I would be with her. I also told her to give me some time to tell my parents. I come home on day to find her sitting there, 6 months pregnant sobbing with my parents.

Imagine walking in on that?

I fast became the black sheep of the family and all my old mates dis-owned me for knocking her up. I found that strange as they were always telling me to bang her.

Anyway, my daughter was born in 1994. She is so beautiful.

Conclusion

I never felt that I should be with her and I had that confirm and many different times by different people. I ended up finding a great Christian woman in Church.

We got married in 1999 and my daughter was the flower girl. We have 2 great kids of our own Dom 5 and Sophia 2 1/2.

There so much I could share and I'm happy to if you have any questions. Please note that I don't want to come across as bragging about, my past, but I wanted to paint a clear picture of Who I was before Christ.

So yeah, that's my story...I could type for hours about the challenges and the things I've learned through this.

[nismo]

thats an amazing testimony you got there!!

[studricho]

Thanks champ. God has been so good in my life. When ever I doubt i think about the proverb 19:3

"A man's own folly runs his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord".

I love this scripture...so deep.

[Smoky]

Mate that is an awesome story you have!
Going from complete hatred to being enveloped in God's love and grace is a HUGE turnaround.
Far out you have seen some hard times brother.
But how good is the Lord!!!

Trully inspiring story.

[studricho]

Thanks smokey, yes I did have some hard times, but like you said God is faithful and seeing what he has done in my life has enable me to greater and greater things. The only thing holding me back from reaching my God given destiny is

Me...

[Smoky]

Had to read this again ay!!! Totally amazing!
And now i REALLY understand what you mean by:
The only thing holding me back from reaching my God given destiny is

Me...

Don't we all seem to get nice and comfy cosy in our little lives! And not seem to see beyond it!

[4jc]

good stuff smoko... couldnt agree more